Starbucks Man

I cannot hold back anymore. I was going to let my frustrations with the Starbucks man go, but after today I JUST CAN'T!!!!

I usually stop into the Starbucks near my office sometime around lunch with my own mug. I ask for a refill if I'd already had a Starbucks coffee that morning and I usually ask for the dark roast. EVERYONE but the evil Starbucks man knows what this means. Take my cup from my hand, fill it with coffee (ask if I want room for cream), hand it back and charge me $.54.

Every SINGLE time I go in and ask for a refill from the evil Starbucks man he puts me through my own personal hell on earth Starbucks experience.

First it's the size question: oh is this a tall refill, a grande refill, or a venti refill?

I don't know! It's a refill of my mug and it always costs me $.54! So I tell him that. Then he says "Ok...and what is the discount for having your own mug."

I don't know! But since the charge ALWAYS comes to $.54 I assume that the discount is included.

This alone wouldn't be that bad but then he always proceeds to talk me through each thing he is doing when he rings me up. First it takes him at least 20 seconds to find the button to press to charge me for a refill, and his finger drifts over every single button before he decides.

Then it is the monologue: "okay I better take your card, now I am going to run it, I just ran it, I am tearing off the receipt you will need to sign, will you please sign this reciept? Ohps! I gave you the wrong one to sign! Will you sign this one instead? Oh, I better give you your card back now, haha."

This is an almost verbatim transaction. Luckily he is only in there about once a week.

Try and order a low-fat caramel latte with no whipped cream like the guy ahead of me today? You've got no chance in hell of getting out of there in under 10 minutes.

Man: I would like a low-fat caramel latte
Starbucks Man (SM): would you like whipped cream?
Man: No thank you
SM: would you like the caramel drizzle we usually put on the whipped cream when someone does want whipped cream?
Man: Hmmmm, okay
SM: Okay, now let me see (looking for 'caramel drizzle' button on cash register) I don't think we can do that.....would you like low-fat whipped cream so we can put the drizzle on?
Man: no I didn't want whipped cream
SM: Oh ok, I guess you will have to go without the drizzle unless you would like me to call my manager up and ask
Man: THATS OKAY I DONT CARE!
SM: Oh and what size do you want? We have the tall which is 12 ounces, the grande which is 16 ounces and the venti which is 20 ounces?
Man: the Grande
SM: Ok, are you sure?
Man: Yes

Then SM goes through the whole hellish payment process with the card, the receipt, the signing of the receipt...etc.

I'm going to start recording my every encounter with him so keep your eyes open.